Scientists find how self-love interferes with friendship

Relationships with other people fulfill the basic human need for belonging. They are critical to mental and physical health, happiness and general well-being. However, of course, it is important to maintain relationships and not quit. This includes behaviors that maintain continuity and development in the relationship. If it is not enough, the relationship will be damaged and may be interrupted. Behaviors that promote friendships and interpersonal relationships in general include providing support and reassurance, spending time together, and solving problems constructively.

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While this is normal for most people, this behavior can be quite challenging for people with pronounced narcissistic traits. When they first meet, they tend to be attractive, confident, and interesting (narcissistic admiration), but in the long run their behavior quickly changes to selfish, insensitive, and aggressive (narcissistic rivalry). Therefore, he oscillates between idealizing and devaluing relationships. This provides a very weak foundation for building long-term relationships such as friendships.

With this in mind, Caroline Wehner and Matthias Ziegler wanted to examine how two aspects of narcissism—narcissistic admiration and rivalry—affect the quality of long-term friendships and vice versa. To do this, they collected data from 831 study participants.

Although there were people aged 79, the average age of the participants was 26.2. 80.6% of them were women. About half of the participants reported completing secondary education, while 32% reported having higher education. 65% of the participants were students.

Participants were assessed for narcissism (the narcissistic admiration and competition questionnaire at the beginning of the study and a shortened version of this tool in the second and final item of the study) and friendship quality (the online relationship questionnaire).

When assessing the quality of friendship, four aspects of friendship were assessed: “evaluation (for example, “How much does your friend like or approve of what you are doing?”), conflict (for example, “How often are you and your friend angry or angry at each other?”), dominance (for example, “How often does your friend argue when you disagree?”) and intimacy (for example, “How often do you share secrets and personal feelings with your friend?”)”, referring to “best or at least close friend.”

Assessments were conducted online, and in return for participation, participants received feedback on various personality traits, while psychology students also received points for the course.

The results showed that narcissistic competition led to less positive and more negative experiences in social relationships.

“This finding, in particular, suggests that the friendships of people who score higher in competition lack the positive aspects of friendship quality, so those who score higher in competition may tend to have fewer close friends,” the study’s authors wrote. . Higher levels of narcissistic rivalry were associated with lower appreciation and intimacy.

Both narcissistic adoration and rivalry were associated with higher levels of conflict in friendships, and this level did not change on average over the course of one year of the study. But scientists assured that the alleged conflict did not necessarily lead to a break in relations.

In addition, taking into account the changes at the time point examined, it was found that assessment influenced later narcissistic rivalry and was influenced by narcissistic adoration and rivalry. The study authors concluded, “Therefore, a lack of appreciation was associated with a subsequent increase in narcissistic rivalry, while more intermediary (dominant) and hostile behavior was associated with a subsequent decrease in perceived appreciation and intimacy.”

This lengthy study provides important insights into the interaction of narcissistic traits and the quality of friendship. However, it should be noted that the majority of the participants are women and young people. Also, two-thirds of the sample were students and all participants were from Germany. Results may be different for men, older participants, and people from different cultures.

Earlier, Focus talked about how long it takes to become real friends. And how friendship affects a person’s psychological and physical health.