How young mothers get rid of guilt: scientists told how to overcome this crisis

The Daily Mail writes that with the advent of social networks, especially Instagram, where people create a picture-perfect picture that has little to do with reality, young parents are increasingly being blamed for not being “perfect.”

In a new study, certified doula and hypnosis expert Emma Armstron and parenting expert Illyin Morrison share why you shouldn’t scold yourself for not fitting in with your mother’s “perfect image” on social media and how to overcome that guilt. First, it’s important to understand that people only share the best moments of motherhood and fatherhood on social media, and disappointment, exhaustion, and setbacks remain behind the scenes. Second, experts believe that if you focus on guilt, parents will unfortunately be “condemned.”

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Researchers note that there are two types of “maternal guilt”: one beneficial and the other shameful. The first tends to make us act – parents wonder why they feel guilty and try to make things right. The second type of guilt only embarrasses parents and makes them feel bad, but they don’t act.

Feelings of guilt for being tired, frustrated, and angry

Armstron says many parents often blame themselves for feeling tired, frustrated or angry. As a rule, these feelings wake up during the period of night feeding and constantly worry about the newborn.

Researchers point out that the truth is that these feelings are quite natural. Taking care of a baby is hard work and it’s normal to feel frustrated and angry. You should not focus on them and focus on the smiling faces of other mothers on social networks – this is just a picture.

guilt for co-sleeping

Studies show that co-sleeping is becoming more and more popular, but doctors and scientists disapprove, as it’s been associated with the tragedy of healthy babies dying from suffocation in their sleep.

However, a recent study revealed that 88% of parents in the US prefer co-sleeping because it makes them feel closer to their children. Armstrong says feeling guilty about trying different methods can make new parents feel like they’re doing something bad. But experts insist it’s important to remember that what feels right to you is right.

Armstrong and a colleague recommend lowering sleep expectations to help your child feel more relaxed. It is important to remember that children go through a lot in the first three years of life, their brains develop and sleep can change a lot. So, do yourself a favor and give yourself a break. The less pressure you put on yourself, the better.

Guilt for losing my old self

Raising children can be a joy, but it also means giving up an old life for a brand new one. Young parents may crave freedom to go somewhere or do something they could have afforded before, which can lead to the development of guilt.

In most cases, young parents seem to do so, but they lose themselves and it upsets them, Armstrong says. The truth is, you really “lost the person you used to be” and that’s why it’s okay to mourn his passing. When you have a child, you go through a great transformation, you are reborn as a new you.

Experts advise to look at the situation from the other side – it is still you, but more. The researchers also note that new parents can find ways to honor their old selves, such as meeting up with friends, enjoying a cocktail, or simply making plans to go somewhere.

Guilt for going back to work

Statistics show that many parents feel bad after returning to work after spending months with their little ones. It also means that they are forced to send their children to kindergartens or leave them with a nanny, that is, in the custody of strangers.

Armstron encourages young parents during this time to show empathy and remember that you are actually acting in the best interests of your family. As with anything, it may take some time to get used to the changes, but know that as long as you and your child have a secure bond, they will trust you.

Get away from social media

According to Armstrong, the best thing young parents can do is stay away from social media. First, keep in mind that an Instagram picture is one that doesn’t show much from real life, where people are cleaning the house, walking the dog, and trying to control themselves. Second, remember that the best thing you can give your child is your time. And when you don’t have much time, try to establish a routine to properly manage your free time.

Previously Focus He wrote that scientists have discovered a simple way to reduce a person’s guilt.